Lost in the Cancer of I Can’t

I met someone today who had become her disease, She only thought of herself as cancer. Cancer defined her ability. Cancer defined what she could do. Cancer was her answer to every question.  Cancer was her excuse for any action not taken.

Her world has become defined by I can’t do that. Scary to me what the mind controls. Even when I watched her go up the steps, she was saying I can’t do steps. The fact that she just walked up 6 steps was irrelevant to her belief.  What is the impact of hearing those words and saying them to yourself over and over. You are proven right. You can’t do anything.

The impact on her partner, caregiver was obvious. Waves of frustration and anger rolled off him. He simplied stated, I have given up on encouragement. Any encouragement I give is beaten out by “I can’t”.

The only reason to use I can’t is “I can’t make another person want to do something.”

They have to want to make a change or take an action. Witnessing this mental model of what cancer looks like was scarier to me than any of the physical symptoms.

I can be positive

I can take care of myself

I can focus on gratitude

I can focus on what is possible. As a caregiver for my partner I can be present, I can be myself.  We both take care of each other in different ways. Cancer is a reality and has an impact on our lives. Cancer is not how or why we live. I am so grateful we have chosen to focus on things we love to do and keep doing everything even if it is modified slightly for today.  I believe in I can.




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