Negative Best Friends

pict0108What do you do when one of you best friends has negative comments on life?

When this friend would do anything for you, offer up her home, send food, support you in times of need. Yet all her conversation are  viewed through the lens of negativity.

I counted 10 complaints in 30 minutes. This is exhausting to listen to. I am trying to be the observer and not react or fix these complaints. What I have learned is some people view life through this lens of what is wrong, that is what they observe, pay attention to and negative dominates their conversation. Then the next step is my friend is a fixer. If I voice any concerns, she jumps in to fix it or offer solutions, actions, what I need to do. I am calling this the super mom complex, even though I am not a mom.  Are there times in life when you want someone else just to take care of everything for you? Absolutely.

So my lesson, is compassion, observe, not fix, redirect towards the positive and accept the gifts my best friend offers freely. Own my values of positive thinking and not take on someone else’s viewpoint.

I am learning by  just showing up for my friend and focusing on the qualities that attracted me in the first place. We have been through difficult times for each other over many years.

I love this friend for her giving, loving, unconditional acceptance of other people. I trust my time spend with her is teaching me to roll off negative comments and not let them become my main viewpoint. It reminds me to look for the positive in every situation.

You have a choice on what you focus on, when you focus on negative it grows

I choose to focus on positive, so that grows around me

I think you take a friend of many years, just as they are

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