What tugs at my heart more than anything else are the words: ” I feel really bad, I couldn’t get off the couch yesterday.” There is no reasonable response to that statement.
It is now clear that radiation treatments are no better than chemo treatments for the impact on Lee’s system. Can I help? No. Can I do anything for him? No. Can I fix this? No.
That is my frustration and emotional distress. Can I ask the doctor better questions? Yes.
Can I give him permission to be in charge of how long he does radiation? Yes.
With two brains together we decide he can skip a day and talk to his doctor about options. I am in Florida, but I can be on the phone with them. I offer up what I do know he can take for inflammation with interfering with treatment. Aloe I have in stock, it does help. Eat easily digestible foods, slightly better.
One day everything seems awful, the next day slightly better, no worse than the rest of this past year. I think just the idea that he is in charge and has choices helps him decide to keep going. Use the Aloe daily (thank goodness for market america products), try a different medication and keep checking back with his doctor.
What I appreciated the most was a doctor who asked, Can you keep going? Instead of telling Lee you must keep doing this. Ending with let’s just take if one day at a time.
Do your best and we will see what happens. “We”, is such an important word. Asking instead of telling changes your attitude so easily. Isn’t that good advice for all of us, do your best effort and take it one day at a time.